I’m a chronic comparer.

Every time I see someone with a desirable form or amount of success, I compare myself to them. I’ve been told that this is unhealthy, but I don’t think it has to be.

Success is not finite, which means that seeing someone else’s success should elicit excitement and possibility, not disappointment. It means that you should be genuinely happy to realize that what you seek in the world truly exists. But when I compare myself, especially with people who are much farther along than I am, I get an initial negative gut feeling of urgency.

This is not a bad thing. It would be bad if I suppressed it.

That gut feeling highlights the disparity between you and your goals. This is valuable information! It is good to be aware of where you truly are so you can make steps towards where you want to be. This feeling of urgency can be harnessed and used to help you achieve your goals.

Let that feeling sink in for a few seconds, but move on fast. Understand the reality of the situation, don’t hide from it. It may be true that you’re not where you want to be. Embrace that fact, sit with it, and accept it. Don’t fight it. Then, determine why you feel that way. What does this person have that caught your eye and made you feel that way? How do you create your own version of that? Does that match up with the goals you’ve decided to achieve? Why or why not?

Don’t suppress your feelings. Use them to your advantage.