There is a lot of value in sharing your big wins with the people you love. Imagine getting a new job. The first thing you might do after receiving the good news is tell your friends, family, and the people closest to you. Sharing the excitement feels good and extends the positive feeling beyond yourself. They last longer. You gain repeated validation that the event is definitely something to be happy about. You celebrate more and feel better along with those around you.

But the things that matter most are private.

They don’t require acknowledgement from anybody else, even the people closest to you. They give you a feeling so unique that sharing it would taint it. The act of cherishing it feels sacred and untouched.

Those things are truly selfish. They reflect your truest values and are unaltered by all external forces.